Sunday, February 26, 2006

Liquid Nitrogen Rations

So, there is this rumor floating around the school that an air liquefaction plant in Sydney has blown up, and that the entire country (at least the Southeast) will be on liquid nitrogen rations as a result.

Liquid nitrogen rations.

I see this image of lab-coated scientists lined up outside a Dickensian orphanage, grasping hands thrust out before them as they wait for very, very cold soup.

“Please Mr. Smithers, just another half cup for my infra-red detector.”

If there is any truth to these rumors, though, we may not get any at all. It is possible that everything will be reserved for “critical needs”- places like sperm banks and hospitals. I have no idea what happens if they run out as well. Presumably someone will have to bury Ted William’s head, and the banks will have to hold some sort of insemination clearance sale.

I honestly have no idea what I’m going to find when I go into work tomorrow morning. Hopefully it will all be an urban legend. But if there’s a padlock on the courtyard tank and the lesbians all have morning sickness, at least I’ll know what happened.

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